


Nowhere To Run Too

by Sapphy



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Asexual Relationship, Brian Banner's A+ Parenting, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Canon Compliant, Childhood Trauma, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Falling In Love, Fix-It, Gen, Love, Natasha Needs a Hug, Natasha-centric, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Red Room, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 17:18:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4028278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sapphy/pseuds/Sapphy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An attempt to fix (but not excuse) <i>that</i> scene from Age of Ultron. You know, <i>that</i> one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nowhere To Run Too

**Author's Note:**

> As I say in the summary, this is in no way meant to excuse what AoU did. This scene is my attempt to fix the damage enough that I, and people like me, can continue to enjoy the MCU.
> 
> I hope this helps with the pain!
> 
> Begins immediately after _that_ line, and will therefore make little sense if you haven't seent he film.
> 
> **EDIT: You may disagree with my interpretation of the scene. That's fine. But please refrain from leaving comments about how wrong I am, and how I'm blinded by the evils of feminism. Those comments will be ignored/deleted.**

Bruce jerked back as though he’d been slapped, his expression one of horror intermingled with pity. “No, Tasha, no, you’re not monster. And especially not because you’re infertile!” And Natasha sighs, because no matter how good she is at faking emotion, when it comes to expressing the things she really feels, putting words around what the knows in her heart, she never quite gets it right.

“That isn’t what I meant, Bruce. What do I care if I can get pregnant? I mean… They made me their creature, do you understand that? They had already shaped my mind, and for years they had controlled my body, and then they looked at me and saw I still wasn’t what they wanted, so they cut me open and took one of my organs. I am their creation. There is no part of me left they haven’t touched. I am not a woman, I am a doll. A puppet.”

Bruce’s face softened with understanding, the pity morphing into sympathy, empathy. “Oh. But that’s not true. Just because you had a bad beginning, came from a bad place…” He stopped, removing his glasses and staring down at them. “What I said before, that I couldn’t have children, couldn’t have a family… I didn’t just mean because of the radiation. I mean, that too, but also… My dad. He was… He was not a good man. He…” He trailed off, still not meeting her eyes, just as lost as her when it came to putting true things into words.

“I know. I read your file. It wasn’t hard to read between the lines. You think, because your father was a monster, you will be too. That you would do the things he did, if you had the chance.” She paused, trying to find the right words to shape around the ideas she wanted him to understand. “I think that too. There was a time… There was a man. I loved him. I think he loved me. Any sometimes he would talk, of running away together, having a normal life. Having a family. And I thought about it. Thought about having a child to raise, and I… I knew that it could never happen. The only way I know is the red room. How could I know I would not do what they did? I am a thing made of lies and secrets and manipulation, just like them. Just like you are a creature of rage. We are other things too, but if there is any taint, however small, of our creators left on us, how could we risk repeating their sins? Or… Or that is what I feel.” She saw his haunted expression and laughed softly. “I’m sorry, I am not good at this. At honesty. I don’t… how does one know how much truth is too much?”

He reached for her, pausing before he touched her, letting her make the final move to tangle their fingers together. It was something he did always, never forcing touch on her, never forcing any kind of intimacy, always allowing her the choice, and it was one of the things she loved about him. “With me, it’s never too much,” he told her softly. “I don’t expect you to tell me everything, that’s not who you are, but I don’t ever want you to feel that there are things you can’t tell me. I want… I want to be a safe place for you. The way Barton is, and this house. I’d like to have that with you.”

That’s too big, too real and deep and close to what she wants for her to be able to face it head on, so like she always does when faced with a bigger foe, she seeks to distract. “That all you want, handsome? I thought you wanted me wet and naked?”

Bruce blushes, just a little, like she knew he would, and smiles softly. “I know you’ve read my file Natasha. You know I’m not after… that.”

She does know. It’s one of the things about him which first fascinated her. Like her, a part of his sexuality had been taken away, ripped from him, and like her he’s been left to try and rebuild the remains into something new.

“It doesn’t have to be sex between us,” she says softly. “I like the idea of, of a safe place. I don’t have many of those.”

“So come and build one with me.”

“You want to run away again?”

He shrugs. “It’s what I do. And now, the world has seen the real Hulk, seen what he can do, well, it seems like a good time.”

“There’s nowhere left to run to.”

He sighs. “There was never anywhere left to run to. But, if you come, at least there’ll be someone to run with.”

She thinks about it, imagines the life they could build, seeing the world without a mission in the way, always moving but never alone, someone who would be hers in a way no one has ever been before.

“We finish the mission first,” she says. “We take out Ultron.”

No matter what, she won’t abandon the team. If he doesn’t agree, this strange fragile thing between them will be dead before it even had a change to be born.

“We finish the mission,” he agrees. “And then we find a way to not be monsters. Together.”

“Together,” she echoes, and she knows he can see the smile hiding in her eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm actually thinking of doing an entire rewrite of the film, taking a similar fix-it approach, keeping the major events but exploring or changing motivation to make it more bearable (and actually compliant with its own series canon). What do you guys think? Would you read it?
> 
> As always, comments are the air I breathe.


End file.
